you jus don wanna say it out, when you already know what the answer is, you are jus afraid to accept another truth, rather live in fantasy, staying at this current moment, it might be happier for her, but you are suffering like hell, you miss her every single day, you talk to her every time she sign in, you wanted to tell her, but you refused, because you don wanna screw up the happy moment, you know the answer, the truth, the fact. you're from two different world, seperated, you try to pull her into your world, but you couldn't, cause you knew she doesn't belong here, and she won't be joyfull too, things would be more complicated, and you knew. life so full with reality, you can't means you can't, or maybe is you're not qualified to be with her, you don't belong to her, you don't even should actually exist in her world, maybe that would make you feel better, maybe you would be happier now. anyway, you are happy now, when you spend every single moment with her, talking to her, knowing her better, change your perspective so that you can live much better as well, pary and wish her hard, be there for her when she needed one, make her happy, and keep her happy, that's what you gonna do.
"i spread joy to everyone, and keep the sad one to myself"
yes, you like her, i know you do......